1
00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:34,789
In the city of angels, under cover of
night, people are drowning

2
00:00:34,790 --> 00:00:36,810
in a sea of light.

3
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:41,850
The devil holding your life on the line.

4
00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:46,610
Angels are calling, rain for time.

5
00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:52,450
Something's got to give, something's got
to bring.

6
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,210
I'm going in.

7
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,290
Thank you.

8
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,310
Good job. I got her. Hey, bring her over
here. Hey, give us a hand.

9
00:05:07,311 --> 00:05:08,359
You ready?

10
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,139
Give me your hand.

11
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,580
All right. One, two, three, go.

12
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,170
Grab her arm.

13
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,010
All right.

14
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,850
Help me. Push her up. Push her up.
Quick.

15
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,520
Pull her up. You got her?

16
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,090
Get the man.

17
00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:47,500
There are many differences between being
a lifeguard and being a P .I.

18
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,800
Lifeguards run on sand.

19
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,660
P .I .s run on everything.

20
00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:56,079
I realized that as I chased after a
boardwalk con man we've been staking out

21
00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:00,979
day. You know, John Lennon once said,
and it's a wise proverb, too, that life

22
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:03,210
what happens when you're busy making
plans.

23
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:07,100
I didn't plan on meeting a beautiful
woman during a fifth one.

24
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,420
Back off, man.

25
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,360
Just leave me alone.

26
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,070
No way, man.

27
00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:13,710
I chased you too far.

28
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:14,960
I'll let you go now.

29
00:06:16,190 --> 00:06:17,240
Now, come on.

30
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:18,610
Give it up, huh?

31
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:20,730
You want me to hurt her, huh?

32
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:23,480
What's your name?

33
00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:25,790
Cindy. Cindy.

34
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,620
Sorry about this.

35
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:10,919
A drowned man wearing a woman's dress, a
knockout named Cindy, and a man in a

36
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:11,839
Nixon mask.

37
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,439
Funny how one thing can lead to another,
even if they don't seem to have

38
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,080
anything in common at all.

39
00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:15,720
I told you to stop.

40
00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:48,890
That's right until your father gets
home, Junior.

41
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,640
It's been a wonderful night, miss.

42
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,340
I think we met.

43
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,740
Gorgeous, witty, intelligent woman.

44
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,530
Handsome man. A delicious candlelight
dinner.

45
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,600
Dancing all night long. And the play.

46
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,060
It was wonderful, too.

47
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,380
Didn't you like it?

48
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,620
Yeah, it was okay.

49
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:40,870
It was a little long.

50
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,050
Really?

51
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,700
It didn't seem that way to me.

52
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,480
Actually, three hours and five minutes.

53
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,080
I didn't notice.

54
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,410
It was so sad.

55
00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:53,540
You must have gone through 20 cleanups.
No, you went through 25.

56
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:58,870
And how many did you go through, Mr.
Macho? Oh, I think I never was.

57
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:01,110
How could you not cry?

58
00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:04,540
So sad.

59
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:07,790
They were so in love, and she died.

60
00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:10,750
Uh -oh, here we go again.

61
00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:14,100
26.

62
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:18,370
You know what the problem with men is?

63
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:22,520
Well, I've heard that we're over sex.

64
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:28,380
Ill -mannered, insensitive, workaholic,
hate to ask for directions.

65
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,840
Stop me when I'm wrong. I will.

66
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,720
You're missing the big one.

67
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:34,670
The big one?

68
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,470
Men are not in touch with their feminine
side.

69
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,130
What?

70
00:10:40,131 --> 00:10:43,739
Look, Mitch, you're a great guy, but it
wouldn't hurt if you got in touch with

71
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:44,790
yours.

72
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,980
I'm in touch with my what?

73
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:49,670
Where are you going?

74
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,520
Wait, Cindy, wait a minute.

75
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:55,910
What happened?

76
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,110
We went to dinner. I was witty,
charming.

77
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,310
We danced all night. I was graceful,
attentive.

78
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:31,129
We drove up the coast to watch the
sunrise, and the next thing I know is

79
00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,430
arguing. Get your mind off it. Come help
me look.

80
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,590
I don't want to get sand in my shoes.

81
00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:42,150
What are we looking for again? The
meritorious moose, Stan Feldman's

82
00:11:45,870 --> 00:11:47,910
Will you hang up the phone, Cindy?

83
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:50,990
Meritorious moose?

84
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:55,059
Bogart is hired to find the Maltese
falcon, and we are hired to find the

85
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:58,799
meritorious moose? Carter, a gig. A gig.
Now, what's this all about with you and

86
00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,850
Cindy?

87
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,100
Well, she said I wasn't in touch with my
feminine side.

88
00:12:03,101 --> 00:12:04,159
Your what?

89
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,360
My feminine side.

90
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,060
Oh, she's right. Most men are.

91
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,680
How do you know that? So I was just
around here.

92
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:13,750
Hey,

93
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,210
hey, hey.

94
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,930
Out of here.

95
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:24,620
Gerardo says same thing.

96
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,180
Hey, hi.

97
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,380
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, too. I don't know
what happened.

98
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,270
But I don't know what the whole thing
was about.

99
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:41,910
Okay.

100
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:45,600
Ah, good dog. Good boy.

101
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:47,970
Me?

102
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,070
I'm, um...

103
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:55,780
I'm moose hunting.

104
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:58,400
Found it.

105
00:13:03,590 --> 00:13:05,370
Okay. See you later, darling.

106
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:12,010
Man, that's...

107
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:27,920
Tired?

108
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,280
Dog.

109
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:30,590
You get the moose metal?

110
00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:32,349
Recovered it?

111
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:33,950
And got it.

112
00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:37,510
Well, I have some good news, too.

113
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,000
We might have a case.

114
00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:41,380
Oh, I hope it's somebody who's got some
money.

115
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:46,510
His name is Chris Vogel. He called this
morning. He sounded really scared.

116
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,300
What's the problem?

117
00:13:48,301 --> 00:13:51,429
I don't know. He's supposed to meet us
at night for 15 minutes, give us the

118
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:52,480
whole story.

119
00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,569
Where's Mitch?

120
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,610
Hey, inside, calling Cindy.

121
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,850
What you got there?

122
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:00,750
Mine.

123
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,050
There.

124
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,120
Don't even think about it.

125
00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:12,499
Hey, you gotta handle the bills from now
on. I cannot handle the bills, okay?

126
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,199
I know I'm handling them all the time,
and I handle them just... Whoa, whoa,

127
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,250
whoa.

128
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:22,120
And there's Cher.

129
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,160
And Madonna.

130
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,570
Ah, there's Marilyn Monroe.

131
00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:33,150
And she's dead.

132
00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:35,030
Who are these people?

133
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:37,810
Female impersonators. We've got a hell
of a show.

134
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,650
Ryan. Yes.

135
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:49,130
Hi, I'm Chris Vogel.

136
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,340
Hi.

137
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:54,710
Hi. We need to hire a private detective.

138
00:14:54,711 --> 00:14:58,969
It's been two days since I was attacked,
and the police still got no leads.

139
00:14:58,970 --> 00:15:02,869
We thought we were scared before, but
now with these phone calls... How many

140
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,230
calls? One last night and one this
morning.

141
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:06,760
What did he say?

142
00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,410
Death threats to all of us.

143
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,870
You mean you and the other performers?

144
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,930
Yeah, myself, Randy, and Steve.

145
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:16,120
Just for the record, I think we can
handle this ourselves.

146
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:17,970
We don't need you guys.

147
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:19,880
No offense.

148
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,550
No, no, none taken.

149
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,530
But what if you can't handle it without
us?

150
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:26,310
No offense.

151
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:33,819
Okay, what's his name? That's Randy
Dillon. Listen, don't take it personal.

152
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:34,960
plenty scared himself.

153
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,580
Now, Chris, about our feet?

154
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,510
Look, we pooled our money, and we came
up with $600.

155
00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:42,039
Kilo, you're next.

156
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,030
Chris, you want to strike your... Gotta
go.

157
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,940
Okay, we're getting our stuff off safe.

158
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:51,619
$600. Come on, you guys. There's got to
come a time when we stand by our $300

159
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,060
plus expenses. Come on.

160
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:54,390
Yeah.

161
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,370
I say we max this thing out in two days
or ask for more money.

162
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,820
I say you're right. As usual.

163
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:00,150
I didn't say that.

164
00:16:33,531 --> 00:16:35,439
You know, I hear

165
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:42,519
that

166
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,539
cutting edge thing in your music up
there, but go listen to some Muddy and

167
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,739
T -Bone, you know what I'm saying?

168
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,600
Then come on back, we'll talk about it.

169
00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:50,990
Thanks.

170
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:07,630
Hello?

171
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,810
Cindy?

172
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:10,950
No.

173
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:14,150
Somebody's not too happy we're on the
case.

174
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:25,739
Chris. What else can you tell me about
this guy? I mean, we don't have a whole

175
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,000
heck of a lot to talk about.

176
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,860
Let's see, the bat, the Nixon mask, his
weird voice.

177
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:35,130
Oh, wait a second. He said something
when he was chasing me. Something like,

178
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:37,230
wait till your father gets home, Junior.

179
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,100
Okay.

180
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,520
Just wait till your father gets home,
Junior.

181
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,000
I'm telling you, I know that line from
somewhere.

182
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,390
Maybe it's from a movie or something.

183
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:54,000
Wait a minute, guys.

184
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:59,080
That phone call I got downstairs was
from the attacker.

185
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:03,000
He said, you better back off the case or
you're dead. Oh, great.

186
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,540
So now we're risking our butts for 600
bucks.

187
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:07,940
Oh, don't pout. I'm not pouting.

188
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:09,810
So where do we start?

189
00:18:09,811 --> 00:18:12,899
First thing we should do is check with
the LAPD, huh? See what your buddies can

190
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:13,950
dig up on the attack.

191
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,510
Yeah, sure. But one of us ought to stick
with Chris and his friends, huh?

192
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:19,590
What's this?

193
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,810
Duncan's script.

194
00:18:20,811 --> 00:18:24,189
We better return this. You know how he
feels about it.

195
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,390
Wait, wait, wait. Hang on.

196
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,260
Fair, fair.

197
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,710
Pick a number between one and ten. Five.

198
00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,040
Seven.

199
00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:32,249
It's two.

200
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:34,110
Three. Five. Lower than seven.

201
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,460
Good.

202
00:18:35,701 --> 00:18:40,029
How come you always get to pick the
number?

203
00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:41,080
Don't pout.

204
00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:43,070
I'm not pouting.

205
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:44,570
Say hi to Dodger for us.

206
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:46,850
Mr. Ellaby? Thank you, Mr. Buchanan.

207
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,730
It's open.

208
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,750
Duncan.

209
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,690
Hi.

210
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,460
Ryan. Oh, what a nice surprise.

211
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,210
Come here.

212
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,830
Hey, who do you think should play me in
the movie?

213
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,980
Uh, Macaulay Culkin?

214
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,970
Sure, sure.

215
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,800
Uh, I forgot your script.

216
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,130
Oh, God.

217
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:42,280
Thank you. Thank you. Can I get you
something to drink? No. Wine, juice,

218
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,050
No, no, no, it's okay. No, no, no, just
take a second.

219
00:20:45,051 --> 00:20:49,119
You know, I'm waiting for a call from
New York about the paperback right. Now

220
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,490
they're talking about putting out the
paperback before the movie.

221
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,880
I had no idea.

222
00:20:55,360 --> 00:21:00,399
Mother was quite an amazing woman. All
those lies about a drinking problem and

223
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,220
violent temper. She was the perfect
mother.

224
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,260
Sweet, gentle, kind.

225
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,900
Just like on the TV show.

226
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:12,100
My movie will tell the truth about
Dahlia Valentine.

227
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:16,349
Hey, did you know that My Funny
Valentine was the number one show for

228
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:19,290
years in the 70s? Mother was bigger than
Lucille Ball.

229
00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:22,670
Are the awards hers?

230
00:21:22,910 --> 00:21:27,509
Yeah. She received two for this episode,
performance and writing. Lucy didn't

231
00:21:27,510 --> 00:21:28,329
get one for that.

232
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,590
Hey, can I play it for you?

233
00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:33,950
No, no. Oh, Duncan, no. I'm sorry. I
really have to go, okay?

234
00:21:33,951 --> 00:21:35,129
I'm sorry.

235
00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,630
Maybe some other time.

236
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,650
Oh, see you later, okay?

237
00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:53,769
Hey, Carrie, how about a chili dog when
it works, huh? All right.

238
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:56,870
Hold the mustard, the relish, the
onions, and the chili.

239
00:21:57,810 --> 00:21:58,860
Okay?

240
00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:05,410
Hey, you. Hi. You want a chili dog?

241
00:22:06,070 --> 00:22:08,050
I think we need to talk.

242
00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:09,520
No problem.

243
00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:13,900
I was out of line.

244
00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,590
Sorry if I hurt your feeling.

245
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:18,050
No, no, it's okay. It's just that...

246
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,559
Think about the feminine side. Well,
it's a little confused

247
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,179
Anything

248
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:34,659
the last time when was it

249
00:22:34,660 --> 00:22:41,519
Kind of personalism, I'll tell you when
my last

250
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,280
time no, no, I don't want to know

251
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,420
Half hour ago. Half hour ago? On the
bus. On the bus?

252
00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,560
Perfectly natural for a woman. My car
broke down.

253
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,060
It's going to cost a lot to repair.

254
00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:00,640
I have to catch the bus to work. I was
late.

255
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,880
So I did it.

256
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:04,620
I just broke down and cried.

257
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:09,230
It's a catharsis.

258
00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:10,710
It's healthy.

259
00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:11,840
Okay. All right.

260
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,220
My last time.

261
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,320
I got it.

262
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,170
That movie.

263
00:23:18,171 --> 00:23:22,049
Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner looks at
his dad coming out of the cornfield and

264
00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:25,290
says, Can we play catch one more time?

265
00:23:26,101 --> 00:23:28,089
I cried.

266
00:23:28,090 --> 00:23:30,110
Great. See, now that's progress.

267
00:23:30,830 --> 00:23:32,270
Hey. Mitch.

268
00:23:34,670 --> 00:23:36,230
I have something else to ask you.

269
00:23:38,130 --> 00:23:39,830
It's sensitive.

270
00:23:40,550 --> 00:23:42,230
No, it's okay. Go ahead. I'm on a roll.

271
00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,570
Can I borrow your car?

272
00:23:44,571 --> 00:23:46,149
My car?

273
00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:47,290
Just for a little while.

274
00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:50,380
You're right.

275
00:23:50,570 --> 00:23:51,620
Too much dad.

276
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:54,880
No, no, it's quite all right. Take the
car.

277
00:23:59,610 --> 00:24:00,660
Thanks.

278
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:23,390
I think I'm going to cry.

279
00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,250
Come work with us.

280
00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:29,210
Donna, Ryan, go.

281
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:33,410
Oh, gosh, here comes Duncan Donut. Oh,
he wants to thank us again.

282
00:24:33,411 --> 00:24:34,329
Any ideas?

283
00:24:34,330 --> 00:24:35,430
Uh, urgent meeting.

284
00:24:35,431 --> 00:24:37,649
Okay, top secret. Very hush -hush
government.

285
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:40,289
Well, you have a devious mind, Ryan. I
like that in a woman. Hi, guys.

286
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:45,409
Oh, what a beautiful day. You would not
believe the casting problems I'm having

287
00:24:45,410 --> 00:24:46,460
on Viva Valen.

288
00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:49,110
Meg Ryan wanted to do it. Get this.

289
00:24:49,111 --> 00:24:53,249
For scale. But, you know, I had to turn
her down. See, I don't need the persona

290
00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:57,810
of some big star interfering with my
mother's essence as a human being. I

291
00:24:57,830 --> 00:25:00,660
you understand. You understand, don't
you? Absolutely.

292
00:25:00,810 --> 00:25:05,609
Definitely. The actress that I cast will
have to understand who my mother was on

293
00:25:05,610 --> 00:25:06,660
the inside.

294
00:25:08,390 --> 00:25:13,550
Um, that's great, but we have to, uh, go
and... Oh, oh, oh, right, right, right.

295
00:25:13,551 --> 00:25:17,249
Did I tell you guys I got all the
domestic rights, international rights,

296
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:21,189
and... CD -ROM rights. I'm just waiting
for New York to sign up for my paperback

297
00:25:21,190 --> 00:25:22,810
rights, and it is a done deal.

298
00:25:23,490 --> 00:25:25,910
Whoa, look at the time.

299
00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:28,330
We have a meeting, right?

300
00:25:28,331 --> 00:25:32,109
Right, right, right. Gotta go, gotta go.
Hang on just a second. Did I tell you

301
00:25:32,110 --> 00:25:36,409
guys about Letterman and Lano? I did
not. I know that I did not. They

302
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:40,170
want me to produce, write, and maybe
cross your fingers, direct.

303
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:43,879
A TV movie based on their lives. Well,
it might be feature, it might be TV, but

304
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,320
most likely it's going to air.

305
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,440
If you guys are good, you guys are nice,
I will let you guys have a small part.

306
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,250
Hey.

307
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,850
Hey, back at you.

308
00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,170
I talked to Mitch.

309
00:25:59,171 --> 00:26:03,319
He said that the police don't have much
except that Steve Cutter served six

310
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:04,700
months on an assault charge.

311
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,180
Well, I'll check it out.

312
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,140
How was Duncan?

313
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:10,680
You wouldn't believe this house.

314
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:12,490
Yeah, I would.

315
00:26:37,870 --> 00:26:40,710
Just wait until your father gets home,
Junior!

316
00:26:50,430 --> 00:26:51,570
Steve, you in there?

317
00:26:53,610 --> 00:26:54,660
Steve?

318
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:29,610
Hey, Steve.

319
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,650
Oh, God.

320
00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:37,820
You sure you didn't see anything?

321
00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:41,790
The room was dark. Somebody popped me
from behind and the lights were off.

322
00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:43,640
What about Randy Dillon?

323
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,450
No, he said he was asleep in his
dressing room.

324
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,180
You were lucky.

325
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,360
We gotta nail this guy.

326
00:28:02,330 --> 00:28:06,910
Steve, Chris, Randy's got a bit of an
attitude.

327
00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:13,250
Duncan, just wait till your father gets
home, Junior.

328
00:28:14,230 --> 00:28:17,950
That line, it's right on the tip of my
tongue.

329
00:28:19,110 --> 00:28:20,160
Damn.

330
00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:24,400
There's got to be something else, you
know?

331
00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:26,670
Something besides...

332
00:28:27,589 --> 00:28:30,070
Both victims being female impersonators.

333
00:28:31,090 --> 00:28:34,410
I'm telling you, the key is here. I just
don't know what it is.

334
00:28:38,030 --> 00:28:39,110
Buchanan, L .A. McBride.

335
00:28:39,870 --> 00:28:41,310
Oh, hey, Cindy. How you doing?

336
00:28:41,311 --> 00:28:42,449
No, no, no.

337
00:28:42,450 --> 00:28:45,410
Bitch? Of course. Yeah, he's sitting
right here. Hold on.

338
00:28:48,110 --> 00:28:49,160
Hey, honey.

339
00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:50,980
Oh, that's my keys.

340
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,510
No, no, no. That's okay. I got a spare
set.

341
00:28:54,570 --> 00:28:55,620
You sure?

342
00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:57,740
All right. See you later. Bye.

343
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:01,790
Very funny.

344
00:29:02,771 --> 00:29:04,679
Wait a minute.

345
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,300
What? I got it. I got it. I got it. I
got the connection.

346
00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:09,510
Dahlia Valentine.

347
00:29:09,511 --> 00:29:10,879
Dahlia Valentine?

348
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:14,819
The guy who played Joan Rivers said the
only person who didn't do Dahlia in

349
00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:16,080
their act was Sid, right?

350
00:29:16,140 --> 00:29:17,580
Okay, what does that give us?

351
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:24,019
Yeah, what does that give us? That gives
us... I don't know. What does that give

352
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:25,070
us?

353
00:29:29,290 --> 00:29:30,370
My funny Valentine.

354
00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:34,790
My funny Valentine. Come on, come on.
The theme song of Dahlia's TV show.

355
00:29:34,791 --> 00:29:38,809
Just wait till your father gets home,
Junior. Just wait till your father gets

356
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:39,769
home, Junior.

357
00:29:39,770 --> 00:29:41,950
That's what she always said to her TV
kid.

358
00:29:42,450 --> 00:29:44,130
Duncan. I'm lost.

359
00:29:44,131 --> 00:29:45,229
You're too young.

360
00:29:45,230 --> 00:29:47,770
He was a child star. He played her son
on the TV show.

361
00:29:48,050 --> 00:29:52,069
You think Duncan did this? I don't know,
but there's one way to find out. We

362
00:29:52,070 --> 00:29:55,389
could just set a trap and have one of
the impersonators do Dahlia. Got it.

363
00:29:55,390 --> 00:29:57,010
one? They're all scared to death.

364
00:30:06,670 --> 00:30:07,720
A little tall.

365
00:30:09,650 --> 00:30:10,700
Nice legs.

366
00:30:11,470 --> 00:30:12,520
Decent voice.

367
00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:15,030
Not great, but not bad.

368
00:30:16,190 --> 00:30:17,240
What?

369
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:20,180
Might even help him get in touch with
his feminine son.

370
00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:25,470
Don't even think it.

371
00:30:27,630 --> 00:30:32,350
Even when a guy is hopelessly lost, he
will not stop and ask for directions.

372
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:35,150
Women think we're too proud or too
stupid.

373
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,380
I don't know, but I have a feeling that
I may have just missed a turn.

374
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,650
Okay.

375
00:30:42,180 --> 00:30:45,380
Now, just hold still.

376
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:49,510
Ow!

377
00:30:49,860 --> 00:30:50,910
Stop pouting.

378
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:52,540
Uh -huh.

379
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,330
Ow.

380
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,960
Are you going to be hot?

381
00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:38,400
Okay. You can give me your honest
opinion, all right?

382
00:31:39,070 --> 00:31:40,120
Okay.

383
00:31:40,450 --> 00:31:41,500
Okay, turn around.

384
00:31:55,570 --> 00:31:56,620
So?

385
00:31:56,770 --> 00:32:00,590
You look great. Just like, uh, Dahlia
Valentine.

386
00:32:01,010 --> 00:32:02,090
Except for one thing.

387
00:32:07,539 --> 00:32:09,100
Your butt's too small.

388
00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:15,060
You know, I'm going to knock you to...
Very funny.

389
00:32:16,660 --> 00:32:18,770
You know, this was not my idea, all
right?

390
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:23,850
Hey,

391
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:24,950
Cindy.

392
00:32:37,130 --> 00:32:38,180
Not what you think.

393
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:40,330
Honor. I knew you were too good to be
true.

394
00:32:40,570 --> 00:32:43,940
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. You
gotta understand, it's for a case. God.

395
00:32:43,970 --> 00:32:45,410
It's for a case. Your keys.

396
00:32:46,230 --> 00:32:47,630
Goodbye. Oh, wait.

397
00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:49,160
It's for a case.

398
00:32:49,290 --> 00:32:50,340
Nice try, Mitch.

399
00:32:51,290 --> 00:32:54,000
Well, you told me to get in touch with
my feminine side.

400
00:32:59,130 --> 00:33:00,250
Hey, big girl.

401
00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:04,050
Okay. Ryan, so what's the plan?

402
00:33:04,530 --> 00:33:06,590
Well... You'll find out in a minute.

403
00:33:06,591 --> 00:33:09,269
Why do I get the feeling I'm going to
hate it?

404
00:33:09,270 --> 00:33:10,850
Stop. Come on. It's not that bad.

405
00:33:12,230 --> 00:33:13,280
You look.

406
00:33:16,650 --> 00:33:17,700
What?

407
00:33:17,750 --> 00:33:18,800
Whoopi Goldberg.

408
00:33:19,730 --> 00:33:22,310
Me? Whoopi Goldberg? In that dress?

409
00:33:22,930 --> 00:33:24,150
You must be dreaming.

410
00:33:24,151 --> 00:33:27,989
No. Garner, I mean, while I'm out in
front watching the audience, you've got

411
00:33:27,990 --> 00:33:31,010
be in the back, you know, undercover,
low profile.

412
00:33:31,570 --> 00:33:33,450
Low profile? In a dress?

413
00:33:34,190 --> 00:33:38,370
Not me, baby. Come on, Garner. This is
the only way to do it. I mean, you know,

414
00:33:38,390 --> 00:33:39,650
when in Rome, do as.

415
00:33:40,010 --> 00:33:44,030
No. Garner, please. Look, it's your
size. It's your color.

416
00:33:44,250 --> 00:33:45,730
Read my lips.

417
00:33:46,090 --> 00:33:47,140
No.

418
00:33:48,510 --> 00:33:49,560
Great shoes.

419
00:33:50,050 --> 00:33:51,100
No.

420
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:53,580
No.

421
00:34:02,399 --> 00:34:05,820
It's showtime, and I definitely had a
case of the jitters.

422
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:10,218
I mean, it wasn't bad enough that I had
to go on stage dressed as a woman, but I

423
00:34:10,219 --> 00:34:11,380
was also the bait.

424
00:34:11,381 --> 00:34:17,539
Mitch, please, will you sit down? You
made me so nervous I've had four cups of

425
00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:19,580
coffee. I don't even like coffee.

426
00:34:19,581 --> 00:34:21,319
You know something, Duncan?

427
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,320
Yeah, he's in the audience alone.

428
00:34:24,620 --> 00:34:25,670
Where's Gardner?

429
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,760
He's watching the crowd. He's fine.

430
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,130
Everything's fine.

431
00:34:31,050 --> 00:34:33,090
Mitch. What? Mitch.

432
00:34:33,770 --> 00:34:34,820
What?

433
00:34:35,350 --> 00:34:40,330
Well, your left one is higher than your
right one.

434
00:34:41,429 --> 00:34:42,479
Oh.

435
00:34:43,330 --> 00:34:44,650
Can you fix it?

436
00:34:44,889 --> 00:34:46,370
You want me to fix it?

437
00:34:46,850 --> 00:34:48,469
I'm not touching them.

438
00:34:49,770 --> 00:34:51,610
Yeah. Two minutes, Mitch.

439
00:34:52,469 --> 00:34:53,519
Very good.

440
00:34:54,010 --> 00:34:55,060
Good luck.

441
00:35:16,110 --> 00:35:22,869
for me not if you care

442
00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:27,370
for me stay

443
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,450
Mitch. Whoopi?

444
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,700
It's me, Mitch.

445
00:36:37,220 --> 00:36:38,270
Am I in hell?

446
00:36:38,420 --> 00:36:39,680
Mitch, are you all right?

447
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,120
I'm alive thanks to that vest, huh?

448
00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:44,980
Could you make out the shooter?

449
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,810
No.

450
00:37:59,281 --> 00:38:00,969
Come on, Duncan.

451
00:38:00,970 --> 00:38:02,020
Give it up, man.

452
00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:04,530
What the hell's going on here?

453
00:38:06,710 --> 00:38:08,790
Come on out, man.

454
00:38:09,410 --> 00:38:11,110
This is a dead man.

455
00:38:22,330 --> 00:38:23,380
Randy.

456
00:38:24,070 --> 00:38:26,540
Put the gun down, man. We'll talk about
this, huh?

457
00:38:26,950 --> 00:38:29,180
What the hell are you doing? Shut up,
Duncan.

458
00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:33,060
This is all your fault. You should have
cast me in your movie. What?

459
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,570
You're a man.

460
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,840
I am Dahlia Valentine.

461
00:38:39,420 --> 00:38:40,620
This is my house.

462
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,980
And you're a dead man.

463
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:47,130
Wait a minute.

464
00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:50,580
Duncan, talk to your mother.

465
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,890
She'll listen to you.

466
00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:58,550
Mother?

467
00:38:59,150 --> 00:39:00,530
It'll be a great movie.

468
00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:02,630
Everyone will want to come see it.

469
00:39:03,430 --> 00:39:04,490
Who'll play me?

470
00:39:05,270 --> 00:39:09,230
You. You are you, darling. No one else
can play you.

471
00:39:09,670 --> 00:39:10,720
They tried.

472
00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:12,810
I stopped them.

473
00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:14,510
You're the star, Mother.

474
00:39:15,330 --> 00:39:16,380
As always.

475
00:39:21,070 --> 00:39:25,270
Just wait until your father gets home,
Junior.

476
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,090
You got that right.

477
00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:48,520
Thanks again, guys.

478
00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,320
Now I really owe you.

479
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:55,379
Hey, did I mention that every A -list
director in town is fighting to do my

480
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:57,020
movie? I mean every director.

481
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:01,040
But to tell you the truth, I'm going to
direct it myself. I mean, you know,

482
00:40:01,060 --> 00:40:05,079
after all, who knows Mother better than
me? I mean, I've only had my whole life

483
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,120
to study her moves. I know every inch of
her up and down.

484
00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:15,610
A $600 paycheck ought to almost pay our
rent.

485
00:40:15,930 --> 00:40:17,910
Well, that should make Lou almost happy.

486
00:40:19,810 --> 00:40:20,950
Mitz will be Buchanan?

487
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:25,210
Yes. I'm Mitz. You're not from the IRS,
are you?

488
00:40:25,470 --> 00:40:26,520
Not even close.

489
00:40:30,221 --> 00:40:37,649
I figured if you can get in touch with
your feminine side, I could get in touch

490
00:40:37,650 --> 00:40:39,470
with my masculine side.

491
00:40:39,890 --> 00:40:40,970
I like it.

492
00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:44,610
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lou Raymond.

493
00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:54,130
I don't want you to be no play.

494
00:40:55,530 --> 00:40:59,790
I don't want you to work all day.

495
00:41:01,050 --> 00:41:06,270
I don't want you to be the Lou I said.

496
00:41:15,370 --> 00:41:16,450
Who washed my clothes

497
00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:25,540
In the blink of an eye, the devil is
watching as we fly

498
00:42:25,590 --> 00:42:30,140
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